Comedian Brad Williams’ Hilarious Urinal Rant

Comedian Brad Williams’ Hilarious Urinal Rant

It’s not every day you hear a comedian threaten to “R. Kelly someone’s leg” over a urinal, but that’s exactly what Brad Williams brought to the table on Club Shay Shay. The conversation, which started with a lighthearted debate about bathroom etiquette, quickly escalated into a hilarious rant about personal space and the unspoken rules of public restrooms. Shannon Sharpe, the host and former NFL star, found himself on the receiving end of Williams’ fiery defense of his preferred urinal.

The Urinal Wars

Williams made it crystal clear: there’s one urinal in every men’s room that is exclusively his. “My urinal. Every men’s bathroom. Shannon, you’ve been in they have the one that’s down,” Williams stated emphatically. Sharpe, admitting he uses the urinal Williams claims, was met with a shocking threat. “If I walk into a bathroom and I see you, Shannon Sharpe, at my urinal, I’m going to R. Kelly your leg,” Williams declared. He explained that the special urinal is for him and “a 5-year-old named Zachary,” urging Sharpe to use the regular stalls.

“I’m not walking past that urinal, Brad. I’m sorry. I’ll fight you. I’ll lose, but I’ll fight you. I’m I’m going to throw down for my people.”

Sharpe, a hero to many, including Williams, vowed to defend his right to use any urinal he chooses, even if it means a fight he knows he’ll lose. This playful but intense exchange set the stage for a deeper dive into Williams’ life and how he developed such a strong, witty personality.

Dad’s Tough Love Prepared Him for the World

The discussion shifted to Williams’ childhood and how his father prepared him for a world where he might be treated differently due to his size. His father, a brilliant trial attorney, understood that his son would face teasing. To combat this, he created a unique training regimen. “He was like, ‘All right, I’m going to pick on you first in the house.’ But he would like insult me, then he would say, ‘Okay, now hit me back with something because this is going to happen on the playground,’” Williams explained.

Together, father and son would write comebacks, preparing for any insult a schoolmate might throw his way. This strategy proved incredibly effective. Williams recalled an incident on his very first day of school when a child called him “little.” Williams fired back with a joke about the child’s parents, which, while effective, landed him in the principal’s office for having the “better joke.” This early experience taught him the power of preparation and wit.

From Comebacks to Comedy Gold

This early training in comebacks laid the foundation for Williams’ career in stand-up comedy. With 22 years in the business, he’s heard it all. “Some people think, ‘Oh, you’re going to be in the audience. You’re going to yell oompa loompa at me and throw me off.’ Bro, I’ve heard way worse,” he said. His ability to anticipate and deflect hecklers comes directly from his father’s lessons.

Understanding Dwarfism: Genetics and Identity

The conversation also touched upon dwarfism, with Williams explaining that his condition is achondroplasia. He described it as a genetic mutation, jokingly referring to himself as an “X-Man.” He shared that while the exact cause isn’t always clear, it’s often a recessive gene. He also mentioned that his daughter also has dwarfism, a condition he manages with the same understanding and preparedness his father gave him.

Williams addressed the sensitive topic of “dwarf tossing,” an act he strongly disapproves of. While acknowledging that people need to make a living, he feels such acts can be demeaning. “There’s stuff like dwarf tossings, where it’s like, make your money, that’s fine. But as long as no one sees me out and about and just goes, ‘All right, it’s time to compete.’ Like, I’m okay, but I’m not a huge fan of that,” he stated.

Sports and a Low Center of Gravity

Growing up, Williams was a talented athlete. He played hockey, baseball, soccer, and basketball. Wrestling, however, was where his unique physical attributes truly shone. “There is nothing like wrestling an average-sized kid whose father is watching him and I pin him,” he recalled with a grin. His low center of gravity and compact, muscular build made him a formidable opponent in the 103-pound weight class.

He even shared a humorous exchange with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell about the possibility of a little person being used in short-yardage football situations, especially with the potential ban of the “tush push.” Goodell was reportedly left speechless by the question, a rare occurrence for the commissioner.

A Father’s Wisdom: “Did He Start It or Did He Finish It?”

Throughout the interview, Williams emphasized the equal treatment he received from his parents, despite his dwarfism. His father never treated him differently than his average-sized sister. When Williams got into trouble, usually for being too mouthy, his father had a unique way of determining the punishment. “Every time they called him, he would say, ‘Did he start it or did he finish it?’” Williams revealed. If he started the trouble, he was punished. But if he “finished it” – meaning he stood his ground or had the last word – the family would go out for Sizzler. This approach fostered a sense of confidence and resilience in the young comedian.

Williams found his true calling in high school theater and later in stand-up comedy, where he could channel his quick wit and prepared comebacks. His journey, from defending his urinal to conquering the comedy stage, is a testament to the power of preparation, resilience, and a dad who knew how to prepare his son for anything.

Source: “R. Kelly your leg.” – Brad Williams’ Mad Shannon Sharpe Uses His Urinal I CLUB SHAY SHAY (YouTube)