Melbourne’s High Tea: A Disappointing Experience

Melbourne’s High Tea: A Disappointing Experience

In a highly anticipated visit to Mr. L’s in South Yarra, Melbourne, renowned food critics embarked on a quest for what was reported to be one of Australia’s best high tea experiences. The venue, described as “super swanky” and “super cool,” promised an exceptional afternoon. However, the reality fell far short of expectations, leading to a scathing review and a stark warning for potential patrons.

A Grand Setting, A Flawed Offering

Upon entering Mr. L’s, the ambiance suggested a sophisticated affair. The establishment, located in the vibrant South Yarra district known for its tram lines and trendy atmosphere, set the stage for a memorable high tea. The critics, joined by a returning guest, Alice, were presented with a three-tiered stand laden with an assortment of sandwiches and cakes. While the crockery and teapots were noted as “really lovely” and “sweet,” the food itself quickly became the focus of concern.

“If your pastry ever looks like that, it’s not supposed to do that. Paul Hollywood would be really upset.”

The Savory Course: Stale Bread and Questionable Fillings

The initial tier featured sandwiches: egg mayonnaise on white bread, prawn mayonnaise in a brioche bun, and salmon on what appeared to be a bed of greenery. The critics noted the unusual proportions, particularly the thick filling in the egg sandwich, and a concerning texture in the bread.

“The bread feels a little bit stale,” one critic observed, a sentiment echoed by the other. “The actual filling is sort of like a souflé egg… mainly egg. Egg and mayo. Not bad. Quite a big portion though.” The prawn mayonnaise brioche also suffered from a similar issue: “the bun it again feels a bit… needs to be really soft and it’s… feels like a hot dog bun that’s been left out for a couple of days.” The salmon on greenery was described as having “a lot of salmon to bread ratio,” with the green element being difficult to identify, possibly tasting like “prepackaged avocado squares” or a mild wasabi.

A significant disappointment was the absence of scones, a traditional staple of English afternoon tea, replaced by more cakes. “In the UK we would have the middle section would be scone. Scone and jam and cream. Not today. No scone today for us.”

The Sweet Finale: Underwhelming Cakes and Doughnuts

The dessert tier presented a variety of items, including blueberry cheesecake, lemon meringue, donuts, macarons, and matcha cones. The blueberry cheesecake was noted for its inconsistent portion sizes and a base that was “a little bit soggy.” Critically, it was served at room temperature rather than chilled, detracting from its quality.

The lemon meringue tart proved to be a major letdown. The pastry case had collapsed, leading to the exclamation, “If your pastry ever looks like that, it’s not supposed to do that.” The filling lacked any discernible lemon flavor, described as “just a mouthful of sugar and sand,” with the pastry itself being “really terrible.” The donuts were equally disappointing, characterized as “very firm and quite bready,” feeling “stale on the outside” and dense, more akin to a bread roll than a light, fluffy donut. The accompanying cream was also deemed unappetizing.

The matcha cone was described as “really not very nice,” with a salty component that made it “horrible.” The only items that received a positive mention were the raspberry macarons, which were praised as “the best thing by far,” and a chocolate item, which was suspected to be “outsourced” and was “really soft and light” – a stark contrast to the other offerings.

Service and Ambiance vs. Value for Money

Despite the culinary shortcomings, the service was described as prompt and efficient, and the ambiance of the restaurant was acknowledged as pleasant. The tea itself was also commended as being “first class” and “very good.” However, these positive aspects could not compensate for the poor quality of the food.

At $60 per person, the high tea was significantly cheaper than many comparable offerings in Melbourne, which typically range from $100 to $110. Yet, the critics concluded that this was a case of “you get what you pay for.” One critic awarded the experience a score of 2 out of 10, calling it “a bit gag” and “generous,” while the other scored it a 3 out of 10, citing the sweetness of the desserts and complimentary water as minor redeeming factors. The consensus score was a dismal 2.5 out of 10.

A Recommendation to Look Elsewhere

The overall verdict was one of deep disappointment. The quest for Melbourne’s best high tea led them to an experience that was “underwhelming” and “not great.” The critics concluded their review with a clear recommendation: “If you’re in Melbourne and you’re looking for afternoon tea, have a look somewhere else.” They admitted to feeling “defeated” by the experience, ultimately heading to McDonald’s to satisfy their hunger after the ordeal.

The experience at Mr. L’s serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting that even in a desirable location with a promising reputation, the quality of the food remains paramount. While the price point may be attractive, patrons seeking a truly satisfying high tea experience are advised to explore alternative venues in Melbourne.

Source: World's Worst Afternoon Tea! (YouTube)