Baseball’s Wildest Foods: Dan Refuses Cilantro, Loves Chocolate!

Baseball’s Wildest Foods: Dan Refuses Cilantro, Loves Chocolate!

As Major League Baseball kicks off its new season, teams are rolling out some seriously unusual food items to tempt fans. But the real question on everyone’s mind is: what would baseball analyst Dan actually eat? His food opinions are, let’s just say, strong, and they were put to the test with a game of ‘Would Dan Eat This?’

Marlins’ Machete: A Two-Foot Tortilla Challenge

First up was the Miami Marlins’ ‘Machete.’ Imagine a two-foot-long flour tortilla, grilled until crispy, then loaded with melted mozzarella cheese. It’s also packed with marinated carne asada, a spicy guajillo pepper sauce, salsa verde, and fresh cilantro. Dan’s reaction was immediate: he’d eat it, but only if the salsa verde and cilantro were left off. He stated, “I think cilantro is absolutely disgusting. It ruins anybody that puts it in guacamole, respectfully. It ruins it.” He did confirm that salsa verde is indeed a green salsa.

Rockies’ Glazilla: Hot Dog Meets Mac and Cheese

Next, the Colorado Rockies presented the ‘Glazilla,’ a two-foot hot dog. This monster dog is topped with macaroni and cheese and some kind of relish. Dan hesitated, saying, “Well, relish. No. So, relish is disgusting as well.” However, he admitted he’d probably try a bite, but warned, “I’m not going to feel good after I take this.” Jess Mendoza, also present, seemed more adventurous. “I have. I mean, this is baseball,” she commented, comparing it to mac and cheese on a burger, which she found delicious. She concluded, “I’m a Yes. Without the relish. Yes.” She seems to be a fan of the mac and cheese topping, unlike Dan.

Diamondbacks’ Shake: A Chocolate Lover’s Dream

The final featured item was the Arizona Diamondbacks’ ‘Diamond Back Shake.’ This isn’t your average milkshake. It’s a chocolate milkshake loaded with graham cracker crumbs, Hershey’s chocolate bars, and whole toasted marshmallows. This treat received a resounding endorsement from everyone. Dan enthusiastically declared, “100%. Yes.” The others agreed, “We’re all in. Yes.” It sounds like a dessert that everyone can get behind.

Beyond the Shake: Fried Grasshoppers?!

The conversation then took an even wilder turn. Someone brought up the Seattle Mariners serving fried grasshoppers at their games. Dan’s reaction was a mix of curiosity and disgust. “I would probably eat one just to be a fool,” he admitted. He clarified, “I wouldn’t eat the fried grasshopper by the dozen, but I’d try it just to be dumb.” This highlights the extreme ends of stadium food offerings, from comforting mac and cheese to… insects.

The Great Cilantro Debate

The discussion circled back to Dan’s strong feelings about cilantro. When asked if he liked it, he simply stated, “Yeah. It tastes like soap.” This opinion clearly divides people, as cilantro is a popular herb in many cuisines, especially those found at ballparks.

What It Means for Baseball Fans

As baseball season gets underway, these unique food options add another layer of fun and flavor to the game-day experience. While Dan might skip the cilantro and relish, his willingness to try even the strangest items (like a single fried grasshopper) shows a playful side. For fans, it’s a chance to explore new tastes and perhaps discover their own stadium favorites. Just be prepared for some very strong opinions if you ask Dan about his meal choices!

“I think cilantro is absolutely disgusting. It ruins anybody that puts it in guacamole, respectfully. It ruins it.” – Dan

“I’m a Yes. Without the relish. Yes.” – Jess Mendoza on the Rockies’ Glazilla

The Marlins’ Machete and the Rockies’ Glazilla offer hearty, over-the-top options, while the Diamondbacks’ shake provides a sweet finish. These stadium foods are designed to be talked about, and they certainly have everyone talking, especially about Dan’s adventurous, yet picky, palate.

Source: Dan is so cultured 😅 (YouTube)